Several weeks ago I made the decision to say farewell to our 11 year old cat, Lawrence. Although he was not old, (we felt he was in his prime), he became unwell and I did not want to see him suffer.
My 6 year old son had some useful and very unique suggestions to help Lawrence get better as I tried gently to introduce the idea that he would probably die. He was keen to bring a pet to school and chose Lawrence with the argument that if everyone stroked him and petted him that would make him better. George would put the basket that Lawrence slept in on the settee next to him, putting an extra cover over the basket to help Lawrence rest and reading him a story which included showing him the pictures.
When the inevitable happened and I returned from the vets with Lawrence in a casket, George became very involved in the funeral arrangements. He got my guitar and sang a special ‘My Dead Pet Song’. He made a plaque out of a piece of hardboard and wrote ‘To Lawrence, I really loved you. Love from George. (He drew a picture of a star – because Lawrence was a star!) And on the bottom added: Lawrence is dead.
Children cannot grasp the permanence of death. To them, death is not irreversible. Death is not the end. George is always keen to bury a supply of food for the various deceased animals we’ve encountered and had to bury.
I remember years ago when my daughter first became aware that people died. She did not want to lose me and told me her cunning plan. If I died, she would hide me in her wardrobe upstairs, so no one would come and take me away and she would bring me food to eat and something to drink. She would also give me blankets and a pillow so I would be comfortable.
Reading around on the subject of pet loss I would recommend Coping with Pet Loss by Robin Grey and The Rainbow Bridge: Pet Loss is Heaven’s Gain by Niki Behrikis Shanahan.
The words in a bereavement card that I received read ‘A special life leaves us memories and memories live forever.’
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